Thursday, March 28, 2013

Chapter Seven: Shift (Preview)


          I wanted to write a story about learning to put the needs of your significant other before your own, and when Josh and I went to Hawaii for two weeks to visit his sister, I realized that kayaking would be the perfect setting for the moral of my story, as well as add some variety to my other stories. If you want to read another take on my kayaking adventure, click here
          In this story, Maggie and James are newlyweds on a Hawaiian vacation. Even though Josh and I were nearing our one year anniversary when we were there, we still needed to work on putting each other's needs before our own. I think that's something every couple always can improve on, no matter where they are in their marriage. 
          What else is there to say? I don't know. I think I'll let the story [preview] speak for itself, and if you have any more questions, let me know! 
          Full disclosure: Josh's sister and her family aren't really like this. They are vegetarians, true. But everything else is totally dramatized. Just so you know. =) 

Chapter Seven:
Shift
          I almost gagged as I opened up the microwave and unleashed the offensive stank inside it. Veggie burgers always smelled like a pretentious bastard had been stabbed a billion times (by the animals he supposedly treated more ethically by not eating) and then left to die. But, I guess I would eat anything at this point.
          I pulled out the plate, grabbed the soft bun I had left on the counter, and slipped the patty between the two halves. What I wouldn’t give to eat an entire cow right now.
          “You have to put pickles on it, Maggie,” said Patrick, who was a perfect miniature in every way of his father and my brother-in-law, Tyler.
          “Why?” I turned to look at the skinny kid with brown Carrot Top hair who stood barefooted at the edge of the kitchen, wearing bright yellow shorts, his white legs practically glowing.
          “Because, that’s just how you do it. That’s how we’ve always eaten our veggie burgers in this house.”
          “Well, I don’t like pickles.”
          He pointed at the counter. “You left crumbs.”
          “Yeah. So?”
          “We don’t put food on the counter.”
          “Well, I do.”
          “I’m going to tell Mom.”
          I turned my back on him and took a bite out of the so-called burger. “Okay.” I waved one hand over my shoulder. “You do that.”
           I heard the eight year-old leave to go tattle to his mommy. I put down the burger and got a glass of milk. At least they weren’t Vegan. I would kill myself if they were Vegan.      
          I hadn’t eaten in nine hours. Apparently, someone had forgotten to tell James that we were on vacation. We hadn’t stopped go-go-going since we had landed in Oahu. Today, after waking up way too early, we drove around the entire island, stopping to hike up to Makapu’u Lighthouse, swim briefly in Waimea Bay, and shop around historic Haleiwa. Thank God the Dole Plantation was closed by the time we got around to that part of our little road trip, because I just couldn’t handle any more. We hadn’t gone out to eat in the name of frugality, so on top of being hot, dehydrated, blistery, and extremely tired and sore, I also hadn’t eaten since breakfast. There was a lot more sunning involved in my ideal Hawaiian vacation and a lot less moving around. I might have liked to go surfing, but that was it. No more.
          Beth, James’ older sister, walked into the kitchen, and I instantly felt the muscles in my back tense up.
          “Isn’t it nice not to eat the flesh of another living thing for once?” she said.
          I raised the burger to her before taking another bite.
          “You know, back before James joined the army, we ate meat all the time. Then we decided we needed to care more about the world around us. Those poor animals that you eat . . .  It’s just not fair.”
Sure, sure, I thought. I’m Satan. Please, go away.
          I know that we don’t exactly have money to burn, but I really wish James and I could have spent our honeymoon in a different tropical paradise. One where we stayed in a 5-star hotel, rather than in a little guest room right next door to the bedroom of an 8 year-old, in a house owned by the world’s most obnoxious sister-in-law and her equally obnoxious husband.
          “James must be in the shower. He was like that when he was younger, too. Neat, tidy, clean.”
          I swear I saw her look at my crumbs on the counter.
          “He and his brother, Brian, used to—”
          “Yeah, he’s in the shower,” I said, sensing a long and boring family story. I just wanted to eat my veggie burger in peace.
          “Did you two do anything on the list I made you today?” Beth crossed her arms over her green, army-wife t-shirt, and glared at me.
          I had just taken a huge bite, so I nodded.
          “I wrote down the best our island has to offer.”
          I swallowed. “We did pretty much all of it.”
          “Wasn’t it fun?”
          I shrugged.
          “Well, I’m sure James had fun. He isn’t as hard to please.”
          I grabbed the glass of milk that I had placed on the counter, took a sip, then put it back, turning my back on Beth to rest my elbows on the counter and keep eating. 
          “Tell James I need to talk to him when he gets out of the shower. It’s about Nickie’s school play tomorrow.”
          “Right.”
          Nickie was a 12 year-old girl who thought she knew everything about Harry Potter and never shut the hell up about it, and she was in a six grade production of The Music Man. I really can’t think of anything worse. Except, you know, the Holocaust or being on a plane when a terrorist decides to crash it or not being able to have honeymoon sex because spoiled little Patrick stays up all night playing some sort of game on his dad’s iPad.
          What a fantastic first week of marriage this was turning out to be.

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